We gather together to ask the lord's blessing 
For turkey and dressing and cranberry sauce.
It was slightly distressing but now we're convalescing
So sing praises to his name and forget not to floss.
Our nearest and dearest we don't want confessing
It's sort of depressing to have them so near.
Our feelings supressing for lightly acquiescing 
And perfectly professing we're glad they were here.
We gathered together and got the lord's blessing
Of course we're just guessing 'cause how can you tell?
Our stomach's are bloating
Our kidneys nearly floating
Hellos are very nice but goodbyes can be swell

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Everybody eat!
Every niece and every nephew even if you're deaf you'll hear them digest. 
Kiddie's by the dozen from local zoos
Someone's second cousin but god knows whose. 

Everybody feed
For example there's an uncle who when he's drunk'll be a real pest.
And cousin Julia is actin' childish to put it mildish.
Hey you kids I don't know who just did that but it's gross
Then Al begins to smoke and tells a dirty joke when Grandma's comatose.

Oh everybody's swill.
And put up with uncle Gordon video recordin' everyone here.
Now they've all gone away 
And we're so happy to say 
They won't be back for a year.